Finding Time for Reflection

Last week, I celebrated my most recent birthday.

Birthdays are always bittersweet for me. They largely remind me of all of the things I didn't manage to do in the last year that I hoped to. But they're also a reminder for me to take a moment to reflect on what I did do -- even if it didn't match up with what I thought it would be.

Why Focus on Reflection

In the US¹, we tend to prioritize productivity above all else, whether we intend to or not. Even though I'm pretty cognizant of this as a manager, and try to make sure I'm not projecting that mentality onto my team, I have a lot more work to do on my own internalized drive to always be making progress.

Because of that, it's hard for me to think of reflection as a priority. Looking back at the progress I've already made doesn't feel like it's worthwhile, especially compared to being able to make the next few steps forward. I'm all too willing to push off reflection in order to get that next project started.

But even though reflection isn't making progress directly, it paves the way for future progress. By thinking deeply about what has gone well and what hasn't, I have a better chance of avoiding the things that frustrated me last time around and prioritizing the things that keep me motivated and moving forward. Reflection can highlight aspects that I would not have thought about without the benefit of dedicated time. And by tracking what I reflect on, I can see patterns emerge and either address or lean into those patterns.

So despite the lack of visible progress, I highly recommend building some time to reflect.

How to Reflect

Let's start with what reflection looks like.

I generally use three questions when doing my own reflections, in this order:

1. What went well?
2. What didn't go as well as I hoped?
3. What change(s) would I like to make going forward?

These questions won't work for everyone, so I encourage finding a set that works well for you. 2-4 questions to reflect on is ideal -- at least two, because it helps you view the situation from different perspectives; no more than four, so it does not become too cumbersome to find time to reflect. Some other useful question sets you may want to try are:

Personal Satisfaction	Boundary Setting	Habit Cultivation
What did I find really fulfilling?	What am I glad I said "yes" to?	What habits do I want to keep going?
What did I find really draining?	What do I wish I had said "no" to?	What new habits would I like to form?
What did I learn?		What habits would I like to break?

To Document or to Not to Document?

Writing down the thoughts you have in your reflection practice can be really useful -- but it also can take a lot of time, and make reflecting more difficult than it needs to be. Just thinking through the questions in your reflective practice is oftentimes enough to find new ways to approach your next initiative.

That being said, taking the time to document can be worthwhile, especially if you find you can't really remember what you reflected on last time. Documentation is also very useful for professional reflection, especially if you'd be willing to share with your manager / direct reports. In settings like team initiatives, collective reflection + documentation can turn a challenging situation into a template to avoid obstacles in the next project.

Managing Emotions in Reflection

Sometimes, reflection can be emotionally challenging. Especially if something hasn't gone well, it can be embarrassing or painful to look back at the obstacles you faced. But even strong positive emotions can affect how effectively you can reflect². I recommend trying to make sure you're reflecting when you have as even of a keel as possible.

There's a few ways I try to ensure I am approaching reflection as objectively as possible.

First, I wait a while after something draws to a close before trying to reflect on it. This helps me get some space from any strong emotions I had in the course of whatever I'm reflecting on.

Next, I make sure to include the next steps I want to take as a part of my reflection practice. I'm very prone to focusing in on the mistakes I've made, but by thinking about the ways I'm going to try to avoid those mistakes in the future, I help keep myself from obsessing.

Last, if I find myself getting overwhelmed with an emotion while reflecting, I'll step away from the reflection and schedule some time to revisit it. In the meantime, I'll think through what makes this situation still so emotionally charged, and see if I can devise some strategies to bypass that reaction.³

Finding the Time

I strongly recommend dedicating time to reflection, instead of hoping you will find it when you need it. That can be an informal dedication, such as always spending a few minutes at the end of the month, or a formal scheduled habit; for example, I schedule 20 minutes at the start of each Monday to reflect and plan for the coming week.

Because reflection is harder to see direct impact from, setting aside some time helps avoid the indefinite pushing off reflection. It doesn't have to be a habitual time either -- some of the strongest reflective habits come out of particular situations, like projects drawing to a close, or a crisis that, after the immediate fire was out, indicated some new preventative practices were needed. The most important thing is to keeping reflection going; like all skills, the more you reflect, the easier you will find it and the more impact you'll find coming out of the reflection.

Personal vs. Professional Reflection

Reflection is a habit that helps boost your personal and professional life, and the process really isn't much different. The timeframe at which I reflect is different (e.g. at work, I build in regular time to reflect; at home, it's usually an ad-hoc disagreement that results in me reflecting), but the actual questions I ask remain basically the same. Reflection helps me be a better spouse, a more conscious pet parent, and a more mindful human. It also helps me make sure the energy I spend at work is largely positive, not draining.

I found personal reflection was a little easier to start with, and it helped pave the way for more professional reflection; I'd definitely recommend starting reflection in an area that feels less daunting, so you can build up the mindset and practices that allow for reflection even in high stakes situations.

Performance Reviews as Reflection

It might seem that performance reviews are a prime opportunity for reflection; unfortunately, most performance review processes are not designed with reflection in mind. Performance reviews tend to be over large windows of time, which make it difficult to remember everything that happened, and they often affect your wages and career path; reflection works much better in environments when the subject of your reflection is recent, and you can be fully honest without fear of it affecting your career.

However, if you have a regular practice of reflection outside of performance reviews, that can make the actual performance review a breeze! I try to document monthly reflections on what's happened at work -- that document becomes the foundation of my performance review, but with more of a focus on the successes and results than the mistakes (unless I've already turned those mistakes into successes).

Build Your Reflection Habit

Reflection can be a powerful tool to ensure you're focusing on the things that bring you the most joy. It takes some time to build into your life, but it is well worth it. And as with most things I write about, Skippering can help you build habits around reflection -- check it out here!

Footnotes

1. And presumably elsewhere, but I'm only very familiar in the US. ↩

2. Though strong positive emotions are a great opportunity to add whatever you're excited about to your hype doc. ↩

3. In other words, some personal reflection time. ↩